When the Emotional Tsunami Hits

Posted on March 15, 2011 | Leave a comment

The Japanese man clings to the rooftop of his home, adrift ten miles out to sea. The tsunami has swept his house and his wife away, and that bit of roof is what is keeping him alive. Miraculously, after two days tossed about by waves, he is rescued.

I have never had to overcome anything physically and materially as challenging as Hiromitsu Shinkawa faced. But I have had some very heavy blows in life. We’ve been talking about “how to deal” when life blindsides you and you are nearly destroyed by an emotional disaster. After the first key – Don’t Panic – the second key is this: Find the Rock.

God as a concept can seem overwhelming. It is difficult to think of Him in “manageable” terms – in a way our brains and hearts can understand. When someone tells you to “trust God” or “turn to God” in hard times – how do you know what he (God) is thinking? Do you cry out to him in desperation (as we have all done) saying, “Please God, please God, help me?”

And then what? Do you hear a reply? When your emotions are in turmoil, does he seem inaccessible? God’s Word, though, is always beautifully and easily accessible.

When life blindsides me, I cling as tenaciously to the words God speaks to us as Hiromitsu clung to that rooftop. Those words are my Rock, my stability. I read them, pray them, repeat them… and feel my spirit regain its strength.

Index cards have been a great tool for me. I carry them with me for easy access. When anxiety or fear starts to creep back in, I can pull out the verses, read them, resist the negative emotion and move on with my day.

Below are some samples… I highly recommend you make your own set of cards. Hold tight to the truths found in the Bible. They will keep you from drowning.

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Posted in anger, bitterness, blessing, confusion, death, destiny, discouragement, faith, fear, feelings, future, God, grace, hurricane, living, loss, miracles, past, perseverance, poverty, suffering, support, tears, things work out, unexpected, when things don't make sense

DON’T PANIC – When the storm hits

Posted on January 13, 2011 | 1 Comment

One of my all time favorite books is The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a five-part trilogy. Douglas Adams wrote such a remarkable book(s) that to try and explain it here would twist my brain just a bit, and being that my brain is already slightly sprained, I’ll refrain. (Oops forgot to uncheck the Auto-rhyme feature in my medulla, however).

DON’T PANIC is a phrase that appears on the cover of the Guide. DON’T PANIC is the most vital advice for a perplexed, frequently-in-danger galaxy traveler.

It’s good advice for us too. A couple of posts ago we spoke about how to deal when life blindsides you. Staying calm is the first key. I will not pretend to be an expert at this, but I have had plenty of practice at being blindsided.

How to stay calm? These steps may seem simplistic, but they work for me:

  • Breathe – yes, literally, breathe. In and out, slowly. Breathing deeply has many beneficial effects. It also gives us time to slow down and not react immediately. Take in the news, however bad it may be. Consciously, as you breathe, reject that feeling of panic that is trying to rise up in your gut. If someone is speaking to you, pressing you for action and/or answers, calmly make them wait until you are ready. This may take some minutes or even some hours.
  • Think – yes, think. Your first reaction may or may not be correct, so move it to one side temporarily, and think through all the ramifications. Is the situation really as serious as it first appears? Can you call on some other people/perspectives to get the bigger picture? Who will be your support team as you navigate and overcome this situation? Always, as you think, avoid despair – you will overcome, and good will come out of it.
  • Remember – remember that you have probably survived other equally difficult challenges. Remember that even if you personally have not experienced such a hard situation before, surely other people you know have. Things do have a way of working out. Here it is so important to have already programmed your brain with memorable and helpful truths – and that is where the word of God is key. We will talk about this in another post.

I can promise you – based on what God says to us – that no matter how desperate or unthinkable a situation, you can survive it and eventually thrive as a stronger person, one who has even more to offer to the world. Here is a taste of what the Father wants us to know:

“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Is. 41:10)

Dear friend, DON’T PANIC.

[PS - Okay, I can't resist. Here is the basic premise of the book:
One Thursday lunchtime the Earth is unexpectedly demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass. For Arthur Dent, who has only just had his house demolished that morning, this seems already to be more than he can cope with. Sadly, however, the weekend has only just begun, and the galaxy is a very strange and startling place. Seconds before the Earth is demolished, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last fifteen years, has been posing as an out of work actor. Together this dynamic pair begin their journey through space aided by quotes from The Hitchhiker's Guide "A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have" and a galaxy-full of fellow travelers. (from www.douglasadams.com)]

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Posted in books, confusion, control, fear, feelings, God, habits, leadership, perseverance, perspective, purpose, success, suffering, things work out

imagine the possibilities

Posted on January 7, 2011 | 2 Comments

Sometimes I have a hard time believing that God made us in His image… When I look around at all the small-mindedness and suffering humans  swim around in, I wonder – are we just a bad copy of a copy of a copy, a Multiplicity gone wrong to the tenth degree?

Then my imagination pulls the emergency brake on that train of thought…

Because I imagine people being so much better than they currently are. I  imagine change and growth, and stingy hearts growing three sizes bigger… I imagine injustices being set right, and funds released to help the poverty-stricken. I imagine forgiveness flowing in impossible situations.

I imagine all those things because I have smelled them and felt them and watched them happen.  I know they will happen again.

And when I imagine change, and see change, and help make change happen – I know I am not the only one doing it…

Which tells me YES – we are made in God’s image.

Let’s live like it.

 

 

 

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Posted in bitterness, blessing, destiny, faith, future, God, living, mission, perspective, the journey

How to Deal

Posted on October 9, 2010 | Leave a comment

Ever get hit by something unexpected? A sudden setback, an abrupt souring of a  relationship, an illness that snuck up and pounced, a long held dream smothered without warning?

It’s hard to deal, isn’t it, when something blindsides us? I think it feels so wrong because these instances come with no warning, no margin for transition, no time to “get used to it.” They feel merciless, and they give us emotional whiplash.

So, how do you make it through without having your spirit broken, or losing the essence of who you are?

Here are a few touchstones I have found helpful in surviving these stealth attacks from life:

Don’t Panic
I always remember something Rudy Giuliani shared. He said that his father taught him:
“My father, when I was very young, used to say to me, ‘If you are ever in an emergency, if you are ever in a fire and everybody gets very excited, very emotional, then you become the calmest person in the room.’”

Find the Rock
In order to be calm, and – very importantly – stay calm, you have to know you are standing on a very solid rock. God is my Rock, and his words to me are beyond comforting. They literally give me physical, emotional and spiritual strength. There are key Bible verses that have made me strong.

Use Your Lifelines
You shouldn’t go through these shaky times alone! In a wise way, ask for help. I believe with every cell in my body that prayer works. There are people in our lives put there strategically by God. They have been gifted with the right words to pray for us!

In the next few posts we can talk more about these points… In the meantime, I wonder how others cope? How do you deal?

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Posted in anger, bitterness, blessing, confusion, discouragement, emotions, faith, fear, feelings, future, God, grace, growth, habits, influence, living, loss, miracles, moving on, perspective, purpose, suffering, tears, the journey, unexpected

Think about this as you build your ministry

Posted on September 13, 2010 | 1 Comment

“Woohoo! Look at me!!!” – ever want to say that? Sometimes, when feeling particularly accomplished, I wish others could see what I see – and tell me how awesome I am. Sometimes it happens; sometimes it doesn’t. (Hey, just being real here!)

“Wow, you are awesome!” would be a great reward… or would it? Truth is, public acclamation is like the chocolate of rewards. Doesn’t last. Gives you a quick high, some strength to keep going, but wouldn’t work as your only food source.

So what kind of reward fuels you for the long haul, and lasts forever? There is something called a prophet’s reward in the Bible. It says that when you actively embrace a messenger of God (a prophet – someone sold out to promoting God’s agenda only), you get the same reward he or she gets. (Matthew chapter 10 toward the end, if you want to check it out).

What does that mean? Well, when you recognize that God is transforming the lives of people (you cannot change the world without changing lives) through a specific person, you are recognizing God.

And recognizing God is a big deal.

It means that often the most significant work we do is unseen. It means if I bless a prophet  (no matter where they are in chain of command) to help them achieve their potential to change the world, I will be blessed every time.

It also means that when others invest in my life, and recognize God’s hand on what I do, they too will be blessed. I’ve seen it again and again.

Is public acclamation bad? Of course not! It gives you a great platform, is sweet and – a lesson I learned long ago – a crowd draws a crowd. I want that platform. Anyone who has anything worth saying should want it. But it cannot be your identity. If you base your ministry identity on being more and more attractive to more and more people, you will lose yourself.

And that is no reward at all.

It’s so opposite to what we humans believe. To us, public acclamation alone is success – turns out it is chocolate, and can melt as quickly.

Recognizing God in the lives of those that are truly devoted to doing his work – and helping them be strong – will keep you strong for a lifetime. Now that is the reward I want!

Father, please help us be peaceful enough today to recognize you at work through others, and to bless you by blessing them.

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Posted in blessing, character, destiny, faith, future, self-centeredness, the journey

Tagged

15 Fun Wordplays (take a mental break)

Posted on September 8, 2010 | Leave a comment

This is for people who love to play with words. Sorry I don’t know to whom it should be attributed. Or if they want attribution!

1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

8. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

9. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

10. A calendar’s days are numbered.

11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

15. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

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Steve Jobs: Creative or Savvy?

Posted on September 6, 2010 | 2 Comments

Hey Mac peeps – is Jobs really creative on same level as Mozart – or just a savvy businessman?

Here’s what happened: I was listening to classical music on my drive yesterday morning, and heard the story of Paganini. So many of the masters died penniless, often without recognition in their lifetimes. Or having risen and fallen dramatically.

So I was pondering true creativity when I twittered this question: “Paganini died a pauper. what is it w creative geniuses & money or lack thereof?!! lack of apprciation, $management, priorities, risk tkg??”

Got this response from a Twitter follower: “Steve jobs is pretty darn creative an ain’t a pauper…:)”

My reply: “He’s a good manager of other people’s creativity. I think he’s an innovative businessman, but wouldn’t put him in same categ. as Mozart, Paganini or VanGogh.”

Just chewing on it… What do you think?

(I suppose my questions about artists and their ability to maintain healthy long term relationships will wait for another day! LOL – these posts come from someone who is a poet at heart, comes from a creative family and works with creatives).

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Posted in Apple, artists, creatives, creativity, finances, habits, Jobs, living, Mac, perspective, vocation

Insomnia

Posted on September 5, 2010 | Leave a comment

It’s two am and I can’t sleep.

Thinking of Italy, paperwork, Faithy forbidding us from working on Monday, China, more paperwork, the beauty of people growing, the sorrow of people stagnating, my husband’s love, my family’s potential, people we do life with, people we miss, potential potential potential for so much ahead, not wanting to make bad decisions, and a gazillion blog posts.

What do you do when you can’t sleep?

I think I’ll get some wings. The kind you eat. Though I could certainly use the other kind.

What would you do if you had wings and could fly anywhere you wanted? I’m not sure what I would do…. probably fly and fly, further and further until I was so utterly spent and exhausted I’d have to drop down. And sleep. No more insomnia.

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Tagged , ,

Da Vinci Notebook

Posted on September 3, 2010 | 2 Comments

I came across this quote from Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks. Da Vinci was a genius. He started life in a simple way, as the illegitimate son of a peasant woman and a notary. He painted the Mona Lisa, The Last Supper, and many other works of art.

But above all he was an astounding thinker. He is responsible for advances in architecture, botany, engineering, science, mathematics, anatomy… and more. This is what he said:

While I thought I was learning to live,
I have been learning how to die.

Hmm. I am going to be chewing on that one for a while. What do you think he meant?

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Posted in character, college students, da Vinci, death, destiny, dying, faith, influence, living, philosophy, vocation, words

Are You Starting Over?

Posted on September 2, 2010 | 2 Comments

It is becoming a tradition that I post this every year!  I have found that there’s always someone out there that needs it right around this time of year… could it be you?

Sometimes things get blown apart...

I am sitting in a Starbucks thinking about growing things.

In 2003, when we moved into our house, there was a huge 60 foot (at least) Tree. It was a hub of zoological life in our back yard. A virtual Grand Central Station of flora and fauna. Squirrels, birds, foot long fluorescent green lizards, children… all were drawn to it.

In 2005 hurricane Wilma visited. For a day we watch it assault our beloved Tree. Through the night it howled, as our Tree and thousands of others fought a losing battle. We watched 20-foot branches weaken and begin to tear, giant invisible hands pulling on them until they fell with a crash, inaudible in the roaring storm.

Morning came; our Tree was devastated. By God’s mercy it didn’t cave in our home. It simply fell apart, becoming a pile of wood and leaves, taller than me, filling our entire yard, destroyed by an event totally outside its control.

I miss that big old shady Tree, so full of life. It made me feel safe. It gave me a sense of roots, of stability when we first moved here and were weary with transition.

The yard has been transformed. Grass grows where it could not grow before, because the Tree’s shadow used to lord it over all. A new tree now grows in its place. Not the same at all, but pretty. Several feet away I planted an avocado tree. Can’t wait to taste the fruit. On the rebuilt fence nearby morninglories grow. Always my favorite flower, because they are new every morning, just like the mercy of God.

And in an opposite corner, I have two papaya trees waiting to be planted. They were given to me as babies, six inches tall each. Now they are a few feet tall, and more than ready to be planted. I very much look forward to their fruit.

I’m planning on having lots of containerized trees also. Oranges, mandarins, lemons… and maybe a mango tree or two in the ground.

New things grow when old things fall apart. It’s the way things work. My big old Tree in an odd way was a special friend. I would look out the window at the kitchen sink, see its huge trunk enveloped with life, and feel safe. But its foliage, so beautiful, was too big.

It was top heavy and in the end that is why it could not stand the storm. Its presence fell over the entire yard, and a lot of other things couldn’t grow in its shadow.

When we hauled all the old branches out, and the stump was ripped out of the ground, I had no inspiration as to what would replace it. I didn’t understand why it had to go.

Now I do.

My thoughts drift to other places in life. More than once I have had cherished relationships torn apart by storms the hit us unannounced. Work situations, life situations, seemingly unnecessary situations…

But new things grow when old things fall apart. Always.

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Posted in bitterness, blessing, blooms, celebrate, destiny, discouragement, forgiveness, fruit