My keyboard has been a bit idle this month, when it comes to writing. That happens once in a while, a sort of creative incubation. Sometimes life forces it, with busy-ness. Whatever the reason, my externally silent times are not internally silent at all. Inside, I am writing reams and reams. God is clarifying concepts, walking me through ideas he wants me to understand, helping me evaluate situations… my journal tends to gain weight.
Now it’s Easter. Easter is by far my favorite “holiday” (if one can call it that). I love Easter more than Christmas… Everything good in my life has happened because of what Easter commemorates. That one choice that Jesus made, in Gethsemane, to pursue the mission God had for him – no matter the cost – has given me the richest relationship I will ever enjoy with another being: the relationship that Jesus and I share. My sweet Jesus reached down to me and wrapped me in his secure arms when I was a lonely hurting 12 year old. That is when I first really became aware of him as a personal God. Wow.
I know, for some, that sounds like crazy talk. That’s okay.
Jesus was with me when our family moved from idyllic small town life in Costa Rica to inner city New Jersey as a young teen, and through countless other painful times. He walked me through the healing I needed from abandonment (dad) and sexual abuse (not dad), and so much more. We also shared many times of happiness, wonderment, joy!
Later, as a young adult, He invited me on a giant adventure – to sail the seas in His name, learning teamwork, leadership, cross-cultural communication principles. During those years He introduced me fully to the love of his life – the Church! Wow!! I fell in love with the Church, too. Such an oddly beautiful bunch of sinners! We met them in all kinds of environments, from wildly expressive in South America (we’re talking spinning-round-the-room-like-tops expressive) to soulful Gypsies in Spain, to melancholic yet hopeful in Belfast, to very quietly faithful in Norway… “Wow” is all I can say about how deeply I love the Church. Thanks to Jesus.
Then came the time when I was ready to learn more about God the Father… I had been a bit distant from him, a bit afraid. Again, wow. What an unexpected Father, always there!! So merciful, so understanding of my weaknesses. So firm when he needs to be. Also, a time to learn more about the power of the Holy Spirit to utterly fix broken lives. Again, wow.
I can go on for pages about this Saviour I love so much. As I said before, I know it sounds like crazy talk to some… But today, I don’t care. He is as real to me as my own heartbeat. I don’t fear death (my family doesn’t necessarily appreciate that I talk about my own funeral! Which for the record I don’t expect to be anytime soon!). When I think of entering eternity fully, all I can think of is running into his arms at last, melting in peace and surrender, enveloped in the purest joy possible, dancing for him because it makes him smile…
I tell my kids all the time that the course of your life is decided one choice at a time. As I said before, that one choice Jesus made, in Gethsemane, to pursue the mission God had for him – no matter the cost – has given me the richest relationship I will ever enjoy. When he died on the cross, he made a way for me to have peace, and he helped me to say “yes” to his love.
And that is the most important choice I ever made. Thank you, Jesus. Wow.